MINNESOTA STUFF

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   MINNESOTA STUFF:

The owner of a golf course in Minneapolis was 
confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some 
mathematical help.  He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from 
The University of Minnesota - and I need some help.  If I were to give you 
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a 
moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

(You gotta  just love 
those down-to-earth Minnesota 
women.)

********************************************************
A 
group of Minnesota friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the 
day.  

That night, one of the hunters 
returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point 
buck.

"Where's Henry?"  the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of 
some kind.  He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter 
replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?"  
they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter  "But I figured no one 
is going to steal 
Henry!"

********************************************************
A 
senior citizen of Minnesota was overheard saying.....  "When  the end of the 
world comes, I hope to be in Duluth "   

When asked  why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Duluth 
because everything happens in Duluth 20 years later than in the rest of the 
civilized 
world."

********************************************************

The 
young man from Fergus Falls came running into the store and said to his buddy, 
"Sven, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Sven 
replied, "Did you see who it was?"

The young man answered, "I couldn't 
tell ..... but I got the license 
number."

********************************************************

NEWS 
FLASH! - Minnesota 's worst air disaster occurred when a  small two-seater 
'Cessna 150' plane, piloted by two University of Iowa students, crashed into a 
cemetery earlier today.  Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so 
far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the 
evening.

The pilot and copilot survived . and are helping in the recovery 
efforts.

********************************************************

A Minnesota State trooper 
pulled over a pickup on I-35.  The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The 
driver replied, " 'Bout whut?"

********************************************************

And 
My Favorite

A man in Blaine, had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of 
the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car AND one 
behind it.  Then he got back in the car and waited.

A passerby studied 
the scene as he drove by ..... and was so curious he turned around and went 
back.  He asked the fellow what t he problem was.

The man replied, "I 
have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the 
flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put 
flares in the front - and flares in the back!  I never did understand it 
either....."

Bill

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wildbill69 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List .30/06 SpringField Joined: 11 September 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 446	Post Options Post Reply Quote wildbill69 Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: MINNESOTA STUFF Posted: 11 December 2006 at 05:01
	MINNESOTA STUFF: The owner of a golf course in Minneapolis was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The University of Minnesota - and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings." (You gotta just love those down-to-earth Minnesota women.) ****************************************************** A group of Minnesota friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!" **************************************************** A senior citizen of Minnesota was overheard saying..... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Duluth " When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Duluth because everything happens in Duluth 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world." **************************************************** The young man from Fergus Falls came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Sven, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Sven replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell ..... but I got the license number." **************************************************** NEWS FLASH! - Minnesota 's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater 'Cessna 150' plane, piloted by two University of Iowa students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived . and are helping in the recovery efforts. **************************************************** A Minnesota State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-35. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, " 'Bout whut?" ****************************************************** And My Favorite A man in Blaine, had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car AND one behind it. Then he got back in the car and waited. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by ..... and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what t he problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front - and flares in the back! I never did understand it either....." Bill
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