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Don’t talk to the parrot

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.416 Rigby
.416 Rigby
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aka Old IronSides

Joined: 01 July 2003
Location: United States
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    Posted: 04 November 2006 at 12:25
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.  Since she had
to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key
under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and
I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. 
But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my =
parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" 

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he
discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen.  But,
just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the
repairman go about his work. 

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant
yelling, cursing and name calling.  Finally the repairman couldn't
contain himself any longer and yelled, 

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!" 

See...............Men just don't listen !
There are times when a normal man must, spit in his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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.416 Rigby
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aka Keeper of the Old Traditions

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote waksupi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 November 2006 at 14:21
A black guy walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender sez," Gee,that's cool! Where did you get him?"
The parrot said, "I got him in Africa. There's millions of them there!"
Shooters Cast Bullet Alumnus
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.416 Rigby
.416 Rigby
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aka Old IronSides

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kingpin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 November 2006 at 14:35
A burgler breaks into a house. When he gets in, he hears a voice in the dark that says, "Jesus is watching you." He thinks, "well, if Jesus is watching me, he knows what i do for a living, so what?" As he walks down a hallway, he again hears, "Jesus is watching you." He shines the flashlight into a dark room and sees a large parrot who says, "Jesus is watching you." The burgler laughs to himself for getting spooked and advances down the hall. When he shines his light into another room, the beam of light hits a huge rotweiller with huge, snarling, teeth and a very pissed off look in his eyes. The guy starts backing down the hallway from where he came, and the Rottie is walking at him at the same, agonizingly, slow pace. He again passes the room where the parrot is, and hears, "Jesus is watching you." He says to the bird, "you stupid bird, is that all you can say?" The bird looks at him and says, "Sic 'em Jesus."
There are times when a normal man must, spit in his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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.416 Rigby
.416 Rigby
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aka Old IronSides

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kingpin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 November 2006 at 14:39

A lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm and orders a drink. The bartender, while getting the drink asks, "Where'd you get the pig?"

The lady indignantly says, "It's not a pig, it's a duck."

The bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."

There are times when a normal man must, spit in his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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